A Happy Marriage

With the divorce rate skyrocketing and children being dumped onto the streets, something has to be done to strengthen the family or civilization, as we know it, will collapse. That's the lesson of history. And, that's the lesson we're learning today. Societies that have high divorce rates also have high crime rates, high drug abuse rates, high suicide rates, high dropout rates, high illegitimacy rates, high absentee rates, high mental and physical illness rates, and so on.

Fortunately, scientific research with Identical Twins has opened the door to a better understanding of human relations. Briefly, the research states that in human relations,

In other words, if you want to have the ideal, happy and lasting marriage, you must find someone who shares your personality and character traits.

And, if you do this, your marriage will be blessed with a bonus bundle of joy. Your children also will share your dreams because certain traits, such as, temperament, are extremely heritable.

So, what must you do to find a partner for life? Well, if "likes attract", then you must first know yourself before you can know what to look for in others. You must know your

Now, to find someone with whom you can match those 8 facets of personality and character is, of course, the ideal. However, to a very great extent, identical twins do exactly that. For that reason, identical twins have the closest relationships of anyone on earth. In fact, when one dies, the other feels like a part of them died also.

The question is, how close to the ideal do you want to get? I would say, as close as you can. Remember, divorce hurts everyone - the couple, the community, the nation, and especially, the children. Therefore, the closer the relationship, the more permanent the marriage and the family. Hopefully, the day will come when an enlightened government will offer its citizens the right to a happy and compatible marriage. Until then, I'll let you pursue the ideal marriage. I'll merely show you how to plan a happy marriage.

Fortunately, only one of the 8 ingredients listed above is necessary for a happy marriage, Temperament. If people have compatible temperaments, they will agree with each other 70% of the time, even if one is smarter, more talented, richer, handsomer, stronger, or better educated than the other.

they will get along quite well and agree with each other 70% of the time. Also, once again, temperament is one of the most inheritable of human traits. So, they'll have a lot of fun with their agreeable children.

In a way, the story of Adam and Eve is a good lesson for us because, obviously, Eve was a clone (identical twin) of Adam. They must have had a wonderful life together.

To familiarize you with traits that are related to temperament, I have linked several web sites to clickable happy faces. The tests they offer are not perfect. And, in some instances, they are way off the mark in evaluating temperament for the inexperienced person. For this reason, if you're really serious about marriage, you should seek the help of a professional pre marriage counselor. Their work may take several weeks to complete, that's true. But, a happy marriage is a life time of joy and love.

If one of the main arguments for divorce is incompatibility or irreconcilable differences, then shouldn't one of the main arguments for marriage be compatibility and reconcilable differences?

Notes

Elements Of Love

Physical attraction brings us together
Personality and good memories keep us together

In other words, we are physically attracted to the person, first. We like the way they look. Then, after we are together for a time, we discover that we not only like the way they look, but also we like the way they talk, the way they act, the way they think, the way they treat us. And, the more time we are together and the more good memories we have when we are together, the more strongly we bond emotionally. Also, a good, loving relationship has the bonding element of fear, fear that we will lose the person. We will lose their love and the fun they bring to our life. Without them we will be alone. Without them we face the same four walls, the loss of "a life".

Measuring Degree Of Compatibility And Potential For Bonding

Thanks to Identical Twins Research, we can measure a couple's compatibility and potential for bonding by observing the degree to which we

Communicate immediately, continuously, meaningfully, satisfyingly. We do not intimidate, weary, or displease each other. We communicate with words, deeds, gestures, tone of voice, etc.
Appreciate each other's company, appearance, behavior, thoughts. We like the way our partner walks, talks, acts, and thinks. Equally important, we like the way they treat us. It makes us feel good.
Anticipate each others thoughts, words, or actions.
Accelerate. We find that time passes quickly and enjoyably when we are together.
Radiate. Compatible couples radiate a certain charm. People notice and admire them. The couple even like themselves. I personally know a couple who were noticed and admired everywhere they went. People would come to them and say, "You are a great couple."; "You are the cutest couple in the world."; "You are a loving couple."; "You are a beautiful couple."; "You are an attractive couple."; "You are a nice couple."; "Adorable couple", "Lovely couple", "Handsome couple", "charming couple", "very romantic couple", "dream couple", "I like you two". On one occasion, as they sat side by side, driving down a street on which school children were riding their bikes home, a boy shouted after them, "There goes the couple of the year." On another occasion, a friend said, "You two are so much alike, you belong together." While shopping separately in the Dollar Store, they came together at the cashier's lane and the cashier exclaimed, "Oh, now I remember you two. Apart, I didn't recognize you. But, together, I remember you." The interesting fact about the Dollar Store story is that the couple had only been in that store once before, a year ago, at Christmas time. I could go on and on with my stories, because it happens to them all the time. But, this last story is my favorite. As the "love birds" sat in a restaurant, a lady walked up to them and said, "My husband and I just got married, but I had to come over and tell you what a lovely couple you are."

The E&E Conference At Applebees states that,

“If you are like this, this, and this, here and now; then you will be like that, that, and that, then and there.

In other words, we can usually predict how successful our marriage will be by the way we get along in our first year of dating.

If we like the way our partner behaves, looks, and thinks and if we agree with them most of the time, then our marriage will be successful.

CAN WE BE IN LOVE FOREVER?

Absolutely. But, we must retain all the ingredients that made us fall in love - physical attraction, personality attraction, and good memories.

As we grow old, our body loses its beauty and strength. Then, we will be attracted to our partner's personality and the beautiful memories we share.

I knew a man who loved to caress his wife. He was 80 years old. They had 3 children and were married 62 years.

Things We Can Do To Make Love Last Forever

Make your partner the most important thing in your life.
Be loving, considerate, and respectful.
Don’t do or say anything that will cause discomfort.

If you make a mistake,

Apologize immediately.
Try to appease with words, gifts, or deeds.
Do everything in your power to make amends.

Love makes life beautiful, easier, and more enjoyable. Love makes time pass quickly.

To Love And Be Loved

One of the great feelings in life is to be in love.
To touch, to kiss, to caress,
To tell someone we love them.

The other great feeling is to be loved,
To be touched, to be kissed,
To hear someone say, “I love you.”

To love and be loved are the greatest feelings
We will ever know.